study mode on

thanks to friends who comforted me today. every opinion counts, all gives me different views in the problem i am facing. now my worries had been lesser, i finally can start on my studies. to....., hope you will keep your promise and take care yourself well. i will try my best to get to you during my redang trip. (redang seems to be hard to receive phone signals.)

Liverpool playing A.Madrid later. Hope they can clinch the win and setup for a finals in the Europa League.

STRUCTURAL STEEL DESIGN!!!

a day to remember, i scored 10 goals today in my futsal game. nice^^.. didnt score so many before.

not-so-good day..

it is like i havent been sleeping for ages. i slept till 1pm today, and continue sleeping by 4. my evening nap gives me the creeps. had a bad nightmare. real bad. the nap in the evening is actually to pull me out from reality for a certain period, too bad, the reality stucks with me until into my dreams. the nightmare, comes from a bad news.

after the sleep, even my heart felt the pain. not pain literally, but it is actual pain. quite worry at first, but after some time being awake, everything is back to normal. just that, there are some things wont be back to normal. i am trying to make myself back to my study mood after the nap, tried taking some happy-foods (means food which increase our endorphine level or produces serotonin, both are happy hormones in our human body i guess). drank milk, ate cheese cake. helps a little, at least i wont feel very very depress anymore. ok, besides eating, i needed someone to talk too. luckily i had this bestie..

well, everything seems to be back on track, until..... i walked the night market tonight. haix, why so... why i just cant think openly.. why i cant just let go of my jealousy.. why my thinking will just wander off to unhappy stuffs? why me? i know i should not be unhappy, i should not be jealous, i should not have such feelings, because we are friends now. i really want to let you go thoroughly, but i know i cant too. i am just too possessed with you. in other words, i love you. i am a jack-ass, an imbecile, should not be suffering my soul in this way, sorry to my soul.

as i told a friend in return, i told her, turn all your 'boh-songness' to study mood. finishing this blog, i will try my best to do so too..

successful cake baking experience

back from klang today. went straight to her house. the moment i passed the cake over her hands, it's like having a recap of the very smile i once saw, the sweetest smile i can see on her face. i knew she was happy, though i doubt that is she surprise to see me or not.

it's the first time i bake a cake. she is the lucky one to try it first before anyone else, including myself. i do hope to make an extra one for my family and friends, but due to the budget restraint, i will leave it to next time.

a home baked marble cheese cake for her birthday. a special present for a special person. i do hope she likes it. previously i was so depressed that i found no encouragement in baking this cake for her, i lost my initial aim to bake until yesterday. i knew that it doesnt matters when people appreciate you or not sometimes, especially if he/she is the special one for you, as long as you see her happy, it's the greatest gift of all. it seems easy to carry out such attitude towards such scenario, but when it comes to practical, it aint as easy as we thought.

while baking the cake, besides determined to fulfill my promise, i also hope the cake can put a smile on her face. i want her to be happy. the cake is baked not with depression anymore, not with love either, but with joy. i dont dare to hope for a chance, which for i knew, it is the slightest chance we might be together again. i will still wait though.

hope that every year from now, i can bake a cake for your birthday. this year's birthday, i hope it is a meaningful one for you.

the recipe book is a good recipe book. hope to photostat it for my own records. the thing i learnt in this cake baking experience is, a lot of tissues are needed.. haha.. tissues are needed to clean up my hand before movinig on to the next step in the baking process, tissues are needed to clean the oily equipment before using the equipment for other purposes, tissues are needed to wipe this and that. i owe you a lot of tissues sin tat. *laugh*

while having the biggest joy of baking the cake, the process still needs certain skills. thanks to my friend, sin tat and his mother, who gave me tips and share their experience of baking a cake. thanks to his family too for being supportive. thanks for bringing me to enjoy a nice bak kut teh breakfast at 'under the bridge' (according to the locals, it's how they called it). And today is the first time i drove on the NPE while driving back from klang. haha.. expensive. now i understand why my cousins who studied in taylor will complain about the toll expenses everytime they used the NPE.

photos of the cake will be posted on facebook. keke.. not many photos were taken because my hands were too oily and dirty to hold on to my phone along the baking process.

happy day.. study day

i finally understand those who feels satisfy even for the slightest thing in life. easy satisfaction on everything in life eventually makes you feel happier.

walking by your side today gives me the feeling of satisfaction. although we are apart, we arent couples, but we are still friends. friends who knew each other well thoroughly till the bottom of the heart. i do hope we can revert time, playback every scene we used to look at before, but i know it takes time. i will still wait..

have a few chats with some friends today. relationship matters are always complicated. the combination of complication is not within our expectation. many different kind of stories we can hear, many different kind of experience we can feel, many different kind of spouse we will meet. keeping an open mind in these matter is the only way we can reduce our pain if pain is heading for you. i myself am still trying to keep my mind open. sometimes i go moody, sometimes i go happy. mood changes everyday, because we are human. therefore, we can only reduce chances of getting in a bad day rather than try lying our own senses, telling ourselves that we are happy while we arent.

i finally start preparing for my finals, and that is the last thing i will do until i finish my finals. well, not exactly so, because tomorrow is a big day (someone knew what i meant. XD). next thing i am looking forward to is redang trip in may. (redang! here i come!)

studied water supply and treatment process. apparently it seems easier than i thought, but the lecturer's guide is ask us to swallow the whole book into my digestion system. hope it isnt too late for digestion now..

everyone watched ice kacang puppy love. hope she is free next week to watch with me. else, the lone wolf will just have to find its prey itself.

sushi zanmai day

nice dinner at sushi zanmai, plaza lowyat with sin tat and shin thung.. just too bad the day didnt end perfectly as sin tat's house in KL had been ransacked by an Indian who claimed himself as a policeman. things had been robbed.. spoilt my mood. felt bad to hear news like this.. why cant those burglars find a proper job?! ruining other else lifes are not the way of being a successful human.. (hope sin tat dont mind that i share his story here. hope everyone learn from this lesson. never ever let a stranger come into your house. the society is running mad, i think i should leave Earth and stay in Mars instead.. ........... [felt cold suddenly])

anyway, the dinner still satisfies me. most probably because we had discount coupons and at half price, we enjoyed some of the specialty sushi at sushi zanmai.

sushi!!!!! from left to right... oyster, egg, octopus, scallop, prawn, salmon belly
(orange peas look-a-likes on top on some sushis are salmon roe)

fried oyster with rice

my real intention for making a visit to times square today is to collect my watch which had been returned to the manufacturer for repairing last month. welcome back watch! i cant imagine exam without you...

in this post there are videos of me singing karaoke. erm, i did not intended to post them cause they are too embarrassing. but, for the sake of fun, i present you the videos. (please watch them only with your earphones on, for the sake of your family's ears, keep my voice only to yourself. haha!)

i fooled my mother last night. gave her a chiffon cake as her birthday cake. i dont know whether did it fool her or not, but i did my best to gave her a surprise. after the chiffon cake blowing ceremony, the main dish is out for the night. a mocha almond cake. erm, tasted ok, but the cream gives me the creep. i just dont like cakes which are too creamy. this cake is one of them. we (boys at home) had no choice though, had to finish it because mum is just too afraid of sweet and creamy stuffs, cause her to gain weight i think.

her birthday cake at 1st

her actual birthday cake. mocha almond!

sing k videos

solo: red bean - faye wong.. (not a good try.. those who cant stand toad voices, recommended not to listen)





solo: may i love you - zhang zhichen (i personally think it is better than the 1st song, but still, dont hesitate to laugh if you feel like laughing, because me myself also laugh while watching. haha)

no emo day..

its mum's bthday 2day, bought a cake for her.. its mocha almond. planned to make a fool of her 2nite, since it is her bthday, its only once a yr, i think she wont mind.

besides cake-shopping for the day, went to sing k wit bro. only 2 persons singing for 3 hrs. plenty of fun, voice bcame coarse nw. how manly! haha

i asked my bro recorded a video of me singing. recorded 2 songs, which only 1 of them quite satisfy me. although so, i still nt hav the courage to post it on9. haha.. the recordings r actually jz for fun, n in the meantime, replay myself on video to c how m i performing. the only comment to myself is, there r much more space of improvement..

gone back to sec sch 2day, saw those scouts, really missed my sec sch days.. after class, 'jom, minum teh!' 'jom, makan!' 'jom, da bo (play basketball)!' n 'blowing water' sessions r really enjoying although it is quite a waste of time.. within our gang, no regards of scout gang, or 5s1 gang, there is always chat topic btween us, n for hrs n hrs v can chat, jz by the mamak, or mayb in the canteen. i hanged out wit scout gang more often, which creates a stronger bond btween me n them.

observing those students, recalled myself of being a sec student once. full of tuitions, yet, i think i had more fun last time than nw.. at least, i wont feel so pressure in studies, n relationship matters. definitely, i also enjoying my life nw.. jz love it when i hav full freedom in where i can go, n wat i can do. keke..

i think its almost time my mum will b arriving home, so better prepare lo.. next few weeks, its bro bthday.. my family is full wit april n may babies, only me, the odd one, in november. haha. mum n youngest bro r april babies, while young bro n dad r may babies.. will update some of my recent photos when i hav the time.. especially wit my current new n short hairstyle.

the heartbreak kid

heartbreak once again..

how many times actually a heart can resist frm breakage? can any1 ans me?

i overheard something 2day. i jz cant accept the fact. motivation to study, vanished. adrenaline to keep me moving, diminishing.

the cake i m going to bake by this weekend, the final touchup shud b full of love, passion n hope. nw everything left with only the cake itself. do u believe? believe that food, shud b cooked with feelings. If the cook's feeling is in a happy mood, the taste of the food will b better, vice versa..

nw, i lean myself back into darkness. ur words, poisoned me, once again, i hav to face the true fact in life. there is no happy ending in a love story.. at least nt for me..

mayb its time...

mayb its time for me to startup my own life, thus to continue writing in this blog instead of another 1.. some1 told me 2day, that she gone into my blog n c no updates. there are updates, jz nt in here..

mayb i shud giv up on another blog, throw those unhappiness aside, start a new page here, a page of my own life..

i might b emo occasionally, but lifes goes on, n no1 said it is wrong to b emo.. so here it is, after so many months, the 1st blog post i gonna post as a new chapter of my single-yet-nt-available life:

after weeks of restless nites due to assignments, the pressure, the hardwork, all had come to an end. it took me few days of slp to totally recover from the trauma, to recover from the tiredness.

despite all of these bz-ness, i still thought of u every nite, jz b4 i close my eyes..

to occupy my mind frm thinking nonsense, i dedicate myself to much different activities. vy much i m doing nw is reading n spend more time wit frens.. i read a book written by mitch albom - the 5 ppl u meet in heaven.. nice book.. it brings a message, telling every1 tat our everyday life on earth meant something nt only to ourselves, but to others as well. one affects another, n another affects another, it is a cycle, jz v dun noticed it.. the concept of heaven of the author is much acceptable, bcuz heaven shud b place where ppl after death shud find the meaning of their life, n then, return to where they initially belong, HOME... death isnt the end, it is jz a beginning of a new environment. sometimes, v jz cant determined when is the end n when is the beginning.

the finals r coming in another 2 weeks. hav to start study by 2mr.. 2nite, i will hav to rest well. hope i can do things according to plan.. at least nt alter too much frm schedule...

this coming week is another full pack activity week.. sing k... futsal... hiking perhaps?? oh ya.. baking session by this weekend.. looking fwd to it...