dilemma.. anger.. down.. inenergetic.. loss of motivation

a funny question jz pop up on me.. how u count a group of ppl as a gang? by its number? does 4 ppl makes a gang? how bout 10? guess what.. i think i shud had fail my maths, cuz to my latest acknowledgement, 4 ppl is considered as a gang whilst 10 doesnt..

to those who knew me well.. jz a personal ques.. m i some1 who u can trust? for any chances, what kinda things which r against humanity n morality i can possibly do? rob? rape? slandering? cheating others for money or for the benefit of myself? pls do leave me some comments if u guys read it. i jz wanna know what kinda personality i had in ur eyes..

i believe when u truly love some1, u jz wan him/her to b happy. same goes to me.

some of the criteria which i think it represents the symptom of loving some1: (h/h denotes him/her)
a) respect h/h
b) u will b willing to protect h/h no matter at what so ever stakes, even sacrification is meant to take place
c) u jz wan h/h to b happy
d) gives the chance for h/h to learn in making decisions, to think for themselves, judge for themselves on what is right n what is wrong
e) to b true to h/h
f) lastly, never ever disrespect the final decisions they made despite the decisions are wrong based on ur point of view

i seldom open up lecture sessions. well, a free lecture jz nw for 35 min. i will nvr 4get what i had discuss 2day in the lecture. i disobey my rule of thumb.. i jz spill out my unhappiness to spoil ones feeling.. but what if what i said had been right? it was common sense which taught me what to do.. m i too rational? or shud i b jz irrational for once?

moody..

felt lik tat v had been separated by a thousand seas.. v seem to b so far.. yet, my heart is still wit u..

happy bthday...... last week...

last fri i officially entered the adult world.. 21 yrs old, it's where every1 is legally independent.. Although so, i still think i hav much space of improvement in terms of my thoughts and attitude to reach the maturity at 21. gambateh!

Anyways, thx to all my buddies who celebrated my bthday wit me.. what a surprise.. i really gt shocked when every1 was there awaiting for my appearance.. thx for the meal too.. i really appreciated it, to every1 there by that day, my sincere gratitude to u guys n gals.. too bad i haven receive all photos taken on that day, so photos will b coming up right after i had it in my com.. thx to 'lao su' too for being the cameraman on that nite..

thx to my aunts too n definitely, parents n brothers.. simple celeb, warmth bthday.. so.. what i hav for myself for this bthday.. jz bought it 2day.. keke.. hav a look.. my 1ST FUTSAL BOOTS.. serious issue.. when i decided to buy it, it is when i decided to start to play futsal seriously, nt only for a hobby, but to improve in this field of sport.. i wont giv up on basketball too, as it keeps my reflexes flexible n fast..

here goes my total-90!!

some thoughts..

dunno y, i will hav such noble feeling to educate the younger generations.. all these came jz after a badminton session wit my colleagues.. i m a lousy player in badminton..

education is jz lik learning to play badminton.. in order to pick up skills in badminton fast, one mz b attacked by the opponent wildly, wit every shot of the opponent is nice on the target.. the more shots u encounter, the faster ur brain will spin to think of ways to block those shots. n while the brain starts generating, u will start to get use to the pace of the game n finally, badminton is jz as ez as kacang putih.. agree?

so.. educating is the same.. the more u feel the pain n humiliation by the cause of any failure in life, (jz the same as being hit by the shuttlecock n being aimed as a target on court) the faster u will learn how to b mature, how to b the survivor in this upgrowing n competitive society. to teach the youngsters of wat a real life is, parents n elders should jz let them face any mistakes they might encounter in life. let them b free to do watever they wan.. jz guide them on wat is the correct path in life, but dun ever put a hand beside them, worrying they will fall.. its ok to fall, even if the fall is caused by a vy vy small rock, jz bcuz of a fall, the next time... erm.... there is no next time of falling bcuz of a small rock anymore..

these recalls me of every stupid n dumbest mistakes i ever done.. being conned by a stranger.. worse still, tat is jz tis yr's story.. nvm, i learn from it, i felt the lesson, i felt the pain, i felt the sorrow, n i nvr wanna feel it again..

life is simple, if u think it is simple.. dun worry, b happy..

experiencing the work life of justin-ian..

weird topic rite? haha.. the title jz pop out from no where..

1 month had passed for my training, 2 months to go.. really appreciate study life.. working is really adult stuff, i would lik to stay a teen 4ever, but i knew it was impossible, stop being childish..

now i finally understd y those in the workforce is unable to keep themselves fit.. its really hard to slip in some time for an exercise session.. i m one of the pack.. for 1 month of working, even though i work nearby, (jz 10 min drive from hm), i dun hav the time for me to get sweaty n burn off all my carbo.. wat i done for my free time? slp slp slp.. dun even mention those who work all the way down in kl..

finally by last sat, basketball session for 2 hrs.. 2 hrs of non stop basketball fever? never.. basically, i m within the court compound for 2 hrs, but i had only played 30 min++.. most of the time are sitting dwn n chit chatting.. no stamina, no passion, totally cant fit myself into the high pace game anymore.. but i would lik to play every week if possible, anyhow i know it is impossible..

yesterday, futsal at nite for 3 hrs.. wow, i m quite impressed.. probably becuz of the game is nt as high pace as basketball, n i even hav the chance to score.. the game dehydrates me a lot.. hav fun last nite.. but when i reach hm, it's already 1.30am.. of course, it is bcuz of 1.5 hrs hanging around at brj for lim teh session..

so guess wat's the consequence? i sud b going back hmtown 2day, but ended up overslp n my dad refuses to wake me up. so a 3 ppl trip back had gone down to 2, which another is one of my aunt. tat's nt the pt.. the pt is although i woke up 12pm 2day, but i still take a nap after lunch, n slp for another 3 hrs. my thigh muscle suffered a tremendous ache 2day, normal phenomenon for long-no-exercise justin..

keeping up in this kinda lifestyle another few months, (without hav the time to exercise), i guess there will b a drastic chg in my body shape. i might get heavier than ever, although tat is wat i always wish for.. haha..

i wanna watch Michael Jackson: This Is It n oso Jennifer's Body.. frenz said tat Megan Fox is damn hot, which i had already knew. the plot is jz ok, but wit Megan's hot body on screen, i guess it is also worth a watch at the cinemas. Coming week, 2012... also one of the mz watch movie for 2009..

guess tat's the update for now..

jz some recent updates

normal life, normal work, abnormal appetite.. dunno y, had been hungry often nowadays. 第二度发育? haha.. hope so, cuz i m so short.. wish to grow taller.. at least let me reach 175cm or 180cm, pls...

worklife is nt as ez as i thought. it is hard to communicate wit my colleagues, especially they r much older than me. i cant even look for a common topic wit them, until 2day.. one of my colleagues is a football fanatic of MU, at least i can speak ball language wit him, so it colour up my dull office hours.

2mr back to work, will b printing plans again.. my superior said i can start on design work next week, looking fwd to tat day..

friday hoel finally ajak to sing k.. haha.. much glad to hear a sing k kaki asking to sing k, meets my desire..

unknowingly.. it is already end of oct n well, to b exact, 2day is 28 of oct.. in 2 weeks or more, i will b officially 21 yrs old. happy bthday to me in advance.. lonely bthday again tis yr.. i dun think i had frens who will pay attention to my bthday.. even my galfren is also unable to b wit me on my bthday.. had a little disappointed to hear from her tat she cant join me on my day, but tats the fact, i jz had to accept the ugly truth.. the only ones who will celebrate for me will b jz my family members.. grow up justin! there aint no1 celebrating ur bthday after u've grown up, so be it!

actually, wat i really wan for bthday.. is to hav some1 special celebrate wit me..

after 2 weeks of industrial training.. 24/10/09

zzz... tats wat i needed everyday.. a cosy snooze..

basically wat i encounter everyday since day 1 of my industrial training is a full stretch of brain blast, plus some eye n soul torturing exercise --- AutoCAD-ing. to those who take the term 'AutoCAD' as a jargon, it is actually a computer software used for sketching plans, especially for the construction line. apparently tis work seems harmless, but unknowingly, the post-AutoCAD effect is way beyond wat i expected..

now my life is so dull, facing the computer isnt the same as facing a human, at least i can speak to the person in front of me. i had to only stare at the computer wit my fingers doing some keyboard n mouse exercise for approx 6 to7 hrs a day (after deducting time wasted to ask question to my superior), tat is so damn boring.. haix.. worse still, my office com is not connected to the internet.. gg..

so wat choice do i hav? facing only the software, working under a silent n cold environment, it is too easy to fall asleep. lucky my boss din notice tat i was semi-conscious during office hours, or else most probably i would get spank directly on the face.. definitely i m nt tat kinda person who slp in the office, i m responsible to my tasks. thus, instead of fully fall asleep, i was only partially doing tat, means 'fishing' (haha.. cant find a proper english term for 'fishing'..)

the gd thing abt my work now is, my office is located at tmn bkt cheras, which i shall only drive not more than 20 min to reach there. i need not get congested at main trunks or highways, bcuz the office location is within my housing area. N my office hr is from 8.30am to 5.30pm, still punctual for dinner. guess wat, it takes around 20 min to reach office, but only 10 min to reach hm.. how happy i m.. since my work starts by 8.30, even if i wake by 7.30, i still hav time for breakfast. Dun mention it if i m working at kl..

the dark side of working is, i dun hav time for entertainment. sing k, no lunch hr n happy hr for me. movie, no student price for me (fyi, student's privilege is only valid till 6pm. i finish work by 5.30, hopeless..) even if i wanna drink tea at nite wit my bunch of frens, either tat i m too tired, or they will b too tired. most of my coursemates chose to work in a contractor firm, which is physically tougher than my scope of work.. when it comes to weekends, i will hav to crowd with those who had fall into the same fate wit me --- entertainment only at weekends -- those who r in the workforce.. haix.. but still, eventhough i m free for entertainment by weekends, i m the only one free for myself.. no1 is free on weekends. sienzz..

well, 10 more weeks to go.. good luck to me..